One day I won’t just be here, I shall belong here
Squandering around out in this wilderness of the city, in a companion of unknown solitariness, feeling the jitters of being lonesome in the midst of the crowd. Sounds like being paranoid, doesn’t it?
No paranoia to be fair, it’s what I’ve been going through. Sitting here devoid of ideas, not knowing what’s going on around me, feeling hard to breathe in the air of this fanatic city. Every time I try to be part of the crowd, a little voice in me yells that I don’t belong here, I don’t belong in this crowd. That’s how life is!
I look up to people around me, people that are part of this crowd, people I’ve termed as getting inspiration from. I see them with their stature, charisma, and designation. I see them with a sense of belonging to this crowd. The people hold their own distinctive ground in this gruesome crowd and are applauded for that. I see them getting praised around for their intellectuality, respected for their deeds, and keenly attended.
The fact is they didn’t get that by birth, but by virtue of earned respect and character. They have earned the right to come up here as a prominent rhetorician and put forth their views, and share their conscience.
Hereby I am, stuck in a maze, trying to figure the way out. Living up with the respect dented apart. Doing my bit of soul-searching to garner any sort of pride left. Should I react or should I respond? I too want that bit of respect for myself. I too want to be part of the crowd. I too want to sense the feeling of belonging to the very nature of the crowd.
Deep within me, I know that I have dreams, not schemes. Maybe one day I won’t just be here to show my mere physical presence but because I too belong to this very crowd.
Maybe one day I shall have a sense of respect for myself earned and intact, my intellectual nature applauded, my words listened keenly, the whole of me belonging here. The little voice in me this time yells that “One day I won’t just be here, I shall belong here”. Maybe one day!
Maybe that one day, a young guy would look up to me and feel the same way I felt today, would come up and write the same very words as I’ve written down, would keep hands on his heart and take the same oath as me and say yeah I too want to earn that bit of respect, aura, charisma, and designation like him. Maybe one day!
